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Thursday, April 10, 2003
Things to Do in Jersey When You're Sick: I wrote to Todd today and, mentioning I was home from work with a cold, asked if he could recommend things for me to do with my time. His response was so perfect that I am reprinting most of it here. I adore it because it takes that greeting-card sentiment of "a friend is someone who knows all your faults and likes you anyway" and brings it to life. It also shows that Todd, if he ever wished, could make his fortune as a purveyor of surrealist humor, something he's also indicated with his Alzheimer's Elegy on the Web site he edits, HealthFactsandFears.com.Date: Thu, 10 Apr 2003 10:07:36 -0400 (GMT)
From: Todd Seavey
To: "Dawn Eden, Petite Powerhouse"
Apply for editor positions at several second-tier music magazines where you could dominate the wills of your co-workers.
Continue sorting things in the back room.
Clean up the kitchen area, which is more likely to be seen by guests.
Send an e-mail to Lauren.
Write a '60s-style pop song based on the weirdest parts of the Book of Revelations.
Buy ice cream, but not too much.
Listen to that best-of Monkees CD.
Lie in bed for a few minutes cracking your back, then sigh deeply
and trudge to get some tissues.
Flip channels on the radio, trying to figure out which is the best rock station in the area these days.
Sketch a picture of a monkey fighting an electric eel (cool!).
Send a broad I'll-do-anything letter to NYPress, asking if recent changes leave them in need of a copy editor, even a part-time one.
Read James Randi's website, since he's Todd's hero.
Lie in bed for a while longer, feel a bit sluggish and lame, get up, pace for few minutes.
Sing made-up words along with your favorite instrumentals.
3:26 PM
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