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Saturday, May 31, 2003
She's Got It in the Bag: The irrepressible Michael Lynch wrote me an e-mail today in response to my last post, and it's worth quoting in its entirety:
Date: Sat, 31 May 2003 09:43:03 EDT
Subject: Honey (I Miss You)
Hi Dawn
I just visited 'TDP' where I saw the bit about stuff you keep in your purse, and while I didn't click the link to see what the woman who wrote you keeps in hers, I was reminded...and maybe I told you this once...that I always wanted to write an updated version of Paul Petersen's "She Can't Find Her Keys."
Enjoy.
-Michael
PS: In case you're wondering why I titled this letter 'Honey (I Miss You)'...That was just so there was at least one worthwhile thing in the world with that title. :^)
She pulls out...
Pepper spray, Mentos, roach clips, Poland Spring
But she can't find her keys
A cell phone, No-Doz, digital rolodex
But she can't find her keys
Contraceptives, Power Bars, 'Tower' card
To buy her Britney Spears CDs
And I'm standing here waiting for a goodnight kiss
Cause she can't find her keys
[Editor's note: While searching for links for this post, I actually found a feminist-journal article that purports "to use 'She Can't Find Her Keys' as a metaphor for writing postbellum southern political history by incorporating gender and the social construction of race as tools of analysis."]
1:33 PM
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A Prize Purse: Right after making my last Dawn Patrol post, I received a complimentary e-mail from a glamorous stranger, fellow blogger Christy, who spotted this page on Blogger's list of recently updated blogs. She dug my link to the flattery generator. Of course, I had to check out her own blog in turn. It's filled with entertaining timewasters, my favorite being the Starbucks Oracle, plus many lighthearted attempts at self-analysis. At one point, she even describes the contents of her purse and wastebasket, asking readers to tell her what they say about her. Seeing that her purse must weigh 10 lbs.—it contains a folding umbrella, among other things—I say that she either works out, has a sore shoulder and back, or both.
As for the contents of my purse, I'll save that for sometime when you and I have a lot of time on our hands. (No folding umbrella, but plenty of small little things like stray business cards and a Fab Faux guitar pick. [I always carry a guitar pick, in case some handsome retro musician needs one—it's a relic of the days when a Lennon '65 haircut and pointy boots were enough to send me into a tizzy.]) For now, I'll just say that my purse currently contains an all-time low number of lipsticks—six (including one gloss). That will probably surprise people who don't usually see me wearing lipstick, but the answer should be simple to any femme worth her fatale: When I do wear lipstick, I like having a choice.
2:10 AM
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Flattery Will Get You Virtually Anywhere: Was feeling kinda blue when I got in post-midnight today (garden-variety single-girl loneliness), but was brightened by an e-mail from my friend Alan Abramowitz tipping me off to a flattery generator. If you have a few seconds to spare, give it a whirl—it's certainly smile-inducing. (The header to Alan's e-mail was, "This medium is a massage.")
1:09 AM
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Wednesday, May 28, 2003
 The Orange-Fingered Dawn: If you were to go through the books on my shelves, you could easily spot my favorites. They're the ones that bear orange fingerprints on their pages. I tend to eat while reading—a bad habit from my earliest childhood—and only my favorite books have the privilege of being read while I'm eating my favorite snack food: Cheez Doodles.
For some time, it's bothered me that I keep reading—and Cheez-ing—the same works of fiction over and over. I'm not that flexible with my nonfiction preferences either, but my nonfiction reading's positively voracious compared to my fiction. Since I graduated college, I have, for the most part, only read and reread the same small handful of fiction authors:
1. J.M. Barrie: The Little Minister, Peter Pan (an incredible, multilayered, beautifully written book that everyone should read), and his plays, plus a number of other novels and books of essays that I read because I'm a completist but wouldn't reread.
2. G. K. Chesterton: The Man Who Was Thursday, the Father Brown stories, The Ball and the Cross, plus, as above, a ton of other fiction that's not as good.
3. Philip K. Dick: Most of his novels and all five volumes of his short stories. I haven't read any of the biographies of him, but would like to.
4. Hans Christian Andersen: All his stories (one of my favorites being "The Swineherd," which only takes about five minutes to read and is well worth it). Tried to read The Fairy Tale of My Life too, but it was surprisingly unreadable.
And that's really about it. I've read other works of fiction in the past five years that were fun while they lasted—Wuthering Heights, Shirley Jackson's short stories, Penelope Fitzgerald's Gate of Angels—but nothing that made me want to seek out other works by those authors. (I did also read the impressive Carrie Pilby, but there's no other work of Caren's for me to purchase—yet.) So I thought I'd put out a call to my friends and any lurkers who read this—can you recommend some good fiction for me? As you can see, I like fairy tales, but ones that are aimed at adults at least as much as children. I don't like historical novels, unless the plot and characters are fascinating. I don't like anything about war, or dysfunctional families. I don't like stories that celebrate crimes like adultery, murder, etc.
I do like stories that play with time, as well as ones that pose ethical questions. I like ones with characters that I care about and can identify with in some way. (I once had to stop reading the copy of Evelyn Waugh's Black Mischief that a friend purchased for me because I couldn't take an entire novel of straight satire, with no sympathetic characters.) I do like humor, very much, if it's within the context of a good story (and not the irony-laden basis of the story itself).
So—got any ideas for any new (or new old) books for me to stain—I mean, obtain?
9:59 PM
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Rhymes With "Geezer": Is anyone surprised to know that, when it comes to pop music, this femme, who is vehemently clinging to her last few months of early-thirtiesdom, is, shall we say, not on top of the news and ahead of the times? My friend Mike Pollock informs me (in what must be a speed record for the swiftest answer to a Dawn Patrol question) that the song I inquired about in my last entry is more than a year old: "Photograph," by Weezer.
Since I did suspect that the mystery song might be a Weezer tune, I now feel partly vindicated, but, more than that, disappointed that no similarly catchy guitar bands seem to be getting airplay these days. I would have rather it have been someone I'd never heard of—that would have given me more hope.
Coincidentally, I accidentally listened to Matthew Sweet's "Sick of Myself" today—it was on an old, unlabeled tape that I put into my deck out of curiosity. Although I'm still mortified at how dark and cynical the song's lyrics are, I couldn't get over how great it sounded musically. I think I must have taken it for granted when it got its brief run of airplay—it's really an exciting, well-done tune in the classic, non-skinny-tie power-pop mode.
1:01 AM
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Fab Faux: I was just in the Quick Chek, where I've often heard rare and bizarre tunes (the most notable one during their Muzak days, when they were playing a piped-in instro version of "Nutbush City Limits"—which the helpful store manager had to identify for me) and heard the most interesting contemporary tune since...well, since I heard the DJ Sammy version of "The Boys of Summer" a couple weeks ago (thanks to Roy Currlin for identifying that one).
This tune, maddeningly enough, lacked an easily identifiable title hook. I was only able to catch a couple of lyrics: "I just can't let it be/It's in the photograph." Still, I have faith that a member of my impressively knowledgeable Dawn Patrol readership can identify it for me. It should be easy enough for anyone who follows the Triple-A radio format to place it, as it's the most Beatlesque pop tune I've heard since...well, since the last Weezer album. (Naturally, the references to being unable to "let it be" and a "photograph" reinforce the Fab feel.) For all I know, maybe it is Weezer. At any rate, although I'm not sure I like it enough to buy it (it had a hint of that contemporary "alternative" feel that sends me fleeing to my Freddie & The Dreamers best-of for shelter ["Freddie Shelter"!]), I always like to know who's making catchy guitar-based pop music nowadays.
12:00 AM
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Monday, May 26, 2003
Add 'Em in Eden: Michael Lynch just e-mailed me an attachment with an e-mail suggesting I might use it for Tuesday Night Trivia. But when I opened it, I was completely, er, nonplussed: In case you're wondering, (B) is Doug Mayer, bass player for the delightfully named Contrarians and formerly of Michael's own Lynchpins. No relation, so far as I know.
12:21 AM
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