[Please be aware: This entry contains graphic sexual language, taken from a Planned Parenthood teen Web site.]

Fasten your seat beats—it's going to be a bumpy ride.

Today on The Dawn Patrol, we return to Teenwire: the Web site that Planned Parenthood donors fund without having the faintest idea what they're paying for.

Planned Parenthood's main Web site gives the calculated impression that the organization's sex-education efforts for teens are devoted to helping teens make "responsible decisions" and giving them information about contraception methods. Exhibit A: The group's mission statement declares in part, "It is the policy of Planned Parenthood Federation of America to assure that adolescents have access to information about human sexuality and to reproductive health care services....Planned Parenthood also supports a range of activities designed to reduce adolescent pregnancy and childbearing, such as expanded sexuality education."

Got that? Sexuality education should be designed with the goal of pregnancy reduction in mind. Hold onto that thought. We'll get back to it.

Elsewhere on the site is Exhibit B: an "Educators' Update" from December 2003 where a leading educator from Planned Parenthood's New York chapter, William F. Bacon, Ph.D, recommends that sex-education programs combat peer pressure.

"Adolescents tend to overestimate the extent to which their peers are participating in risk behaviors," Bacon writes. "In almost any functioning social system, the majority of individuals are making healthy decisions and are avoiding risky behavior. However, many individuals in the majority typically believe that they are in the minority—i.e., that 'everyone else is doing it.' Such misperceptions can be harmful because they can provide a sort of false peer pressure, encouraging young people to take risks that they would rather avoid. Programs employing a social-norms approach attempt to correct misperceptions by providing accurate information about true peer norms, either through instructional activities or through social marketing campaigns. Developed over the past decade or so, this approach has been quite successful in reducing risk-taking behavior in the area of drinking and drug abuse."

Now there's a Planned Parenthood program that I myself would support—in principle, at least. But are they carrying it out? Don't count on it.

But first, one last exhibit from Planned Parenthood's official site, this one the most telling. Exhibit C is the teen section of Planned Parenthood's official site. Since the section is part of the organization's main site, and is not Teenwire (which is a separate site), it would be viewed by adults who contribute to Planned Parenthood, as well as any teens who might stumble across it.

Visitors to this teen section are greeted by a list of questions, each of them linking to an answer, starting with, "Is Abstinence Right for You Now?" That's followed by, "How Do You Know When You're Ready for Sex?"; "Is This Love? How to Tell If Your Relationship Is Good for You"; and so on. While one might disagree with the organization's treatment of these isues, all the topics fit Planned Parenthood's mission of helping teens make "responsible decisions."

But if teens perusing that page of the official Planned Parenthood site click on the link to Teenwire, they'll find themselves in a totally radical universe.

This morning, as I write, the front page of Planned Parenthood's Teenwire features:

• "Today's Question": a teenage boy's query about what physically happens to his girlfriend when he masturbates her. I suppose the positive message in this is that if he stops there, that meets Planned Parenthood's teen-pregnancy-reduction goal.


• A sample question from the reader bulletin board, which is called "The Hothouse": "I am 13 and my boyfriend is asking me to have a baby. What should I do?" Mind you, the Teenwire sexperts don't actually offer this girl help. They just let other teens give her suggestions.

"A lot of teens decide to have sex for the first time on prom night," explains Eric, 18. "Or, they may think that having sexual intercourse on prom night will make it that much more special. Having condoms handy would only be smart."

So, if there is even the remotest possibility that you are going to have sexual intercourse on prom night, then latex or female condoms should definitely be on your accessory list! And fortunately, they fit easily in an evening bag or wallet, and there is no age requirement for buying them. "It's a little bit intimidating the first time you buy condoms," says Rebekkah, 17, "but you can also get them at health clinics, most times for free!"

Now, before any readers write to point out the caveats in this and other Teenwire articles—like the line, "The decision whether or not to have sexual intercourse after the prom should not be taken lightly"—please note: Caveats do not exist for teenagers, just as they do not exist for children. You tell a teen, "This drug is amazing, it's cool, it's cheap, it gets you high and don't do it because it's bad for you," and the teen is not going to hear the "don't" part. Likewise, begin an article with paragraph after paragraph about how losing one's virginity is the thing to do, and the message—regardless of what follows—is that the emotional risks of sex do not require serious consideration.

I mean, talk about mixed messages; the article recommends prom girls take along a "Sexual Safety Kit":

In fact, to help teens stay safer at prom, Planned Parenthood of Minnesota/South Dakota gave high school students "prom survival kits" containing breath mints, confetti, condoms, and a $10 coupon for contraceptive services. "We just wanted to make it a little bit easier for sexually active teens to practice safer sex," explained education director Katherine Meerse.

"Be Prepared for the Prom" links to another Teenwire piece, "Confessions of a Prom Queen," which is outright child pornography masquerading as advice. It's a girl's first-person account of the joys of—you guessed it—losing her virginity on prom night. Please do not read any further if you do not want to be sick to your stomach.

The plucky protagonist, after declaring how she thrilled to the thought of making prom night her first time, writes:

My boyfriend, Eric, and I had been dating since January, and we had already "tried" at least once to have sex. The problem was, we couldn't get the mechanics right. I really wanted to do it. But even though my body felt ready, I was still pretty scared to take such a big step, mostly out of fear it would hurt. After all, at that point, I'd never even used a tampon.

Finally the big moment arrives for our heroine as she discovers that not everyone is doing it. With the encouragement of a supportive female friend, she gains the courage to stand up to her demanding boyfriend and save herself for a time when she's old enough to handle sex and doesn't feel pressured...Just kidding! Here's what really happens in the story—and I'm sorry to have to warn you again that it's pornographic:

There was a brief, burning pain when our bodies fit together. But once he was inside me, the pain went away. I couldn't believe that after all that build-up, it was over so fast. I mean, literally just a few seconds later.

But there was definitely a new vibe to our relationship. Things had changed. And, fortunately, the sex got better—and lasted longer!—as we both got more "practice" with each other!