The daddy track
My train's conductor was in a chatty mood tonight.
I learned that he began his current job last year after 10 years as a Marine. He did tours of duty in Kosovo — "we dropped bombs, then food; makes no sense" — and Iraq.
When I told him I was a writer, he said he could never do that. "I know how to shoot things," he shrugged.
But then he started talking about his kids.
He has a daughter who just started school, and a son who's a toddler. Last year, he began attending a local Methodist church, to give his kids a Christian upbringing. His daughter loves it, he said. "She wants to go there all the time."
The conductor's Saturday night shift ends at 3:30 a.m. Church starts at 9:30. The dad and his kids arrive a little late, but they get there.
His son doesn't like church so much, being at an age when he is more interested in breaking things and throwing them— not necessarily in that order. The daughter is usually far better behaved — though she did once pour a drink right through the TV's ventilation holes, frying the circuits.
The conductor, who wasn't wearing a wedding ring, didn't mention if he lived with his children's mother, and I didn't ask, not wanting to pry. He just seemed happy to be having a conversation where he wasn't telling a passenger to pay the $5 on-train ticket penalty.
He went on about the time he spends with his kids — how he manages to get no more than four hours' sleep at a time, since he always has to be there for one or both of his children. For this former Marine, being a dad is "the hardest work there is."
"And the most rewarding," I said hopefully.
He gave an emphatic "yes."
It strikes me that there is something wrong with a culture that tells this man that he is somehow less valuable than a man who makes more money or has more job skills. The same goes for a culture that tells a woman she is less valuable if, rather than taking the opportunity to graduate college at the earliest opportunity, or getting a solid footing in a career, she instead becomes a full-time mother.
Being a devoted parent is the most important job in the world. We should never forget that.
11:17 PM
