Three cool catechists
Last night, I had the honor of appearing alongside fellow panelist Monsignor William B. Smith, S.T.D., and moderator Father Jim Lloyd at a discussion called "All About Sexual Morality" before a standing-room-only crowd of about 70 people in the rectory of the Church of St. Paul the Apostle. The discussion was the second in a two-part series organized by Father Lloyd along with Bob Moran, a Catholic psychotherapist who wanted to educate lay Catholics about the Church's views on sexual topics that are not normally discussed from the pulpit.
Monsignor Smith, a longtime professor at St. Joseph's Seminary, gave an enlightening talk on the theology of the body. I made a lot of mental notes; everything he said was relevant to the messages I try to communicate in my talks, and he has a tremendous knowledge base of Church teaching. (More on that in a moment.)
The beginning of his talk was particularly inspiring, as he explained how the Church's teachings on sex are not arbitrary rules; they derive from God's purposes in creating us. I can't recall his exact words, but the message as I understood it was that God gave a moral law not to make us miserable, but rather to bring us joy. He designed us, after all, and He knows what kind of life will unite us to Him.
That is one of the truths that helped draw me into the Church. Hearing Smith articulate it reminded me that I need to voice it more often when explaining my choice to become chaste.
Speaking after the monsignor was daunting. I told the audience that it reminded me of the "Ed Sullivan Show," where a great act like the Beatles would be followed by some guy spinning plates. (Like Smith, the Beatles had cool collars too, though I guess the similarities end there.)
That tremendous knowledge base I mentioned came into play when I mentioned during my talk that a purpose of marriage, according to the Church, was that each spouse should make a gift of himself to the other, to bring the other closer to heaven. As I said this, realizing that I didn't want to mischaracterize the Church's teaching, I turned to Lloyd and Smith and asked if I was stating it correctly. Where, I asked, was it in the Catechism?
The priests were reluctant to answer, because, they both said, they didn't want to distract from my talk. At any rate, Lloyd said, what I was saying was correct. There was a moment of silence and I was about to resume speaking. Just as I was opening my mouth, Smith called out, "No. 1602."
I already thought the monsignor was cool, but he gained levels of coolness for being able to reel that number off the top of his head. One day, I want to be able to call out Catechism paragraph numbers the way I used to be able to toss off 1960s Hot 100 chart positions.
* * *
During the Q&A period, one young woman of about 20 asked me how she could tell her boyfriend — with whom she had been having sex — that she wanted to be chaste.
It's a very tough question. I answered it as best I could. One thing I told her, since she said she loved her boyfriend, was that she should tell him that she wanted to have a marriage with him that would last — that she didn't want it to end as her parents' marriage had, or as another relative's had. (I had already mentioned the high divorce rate for couples who cohabitate; their overreliance on their sexual bond is believed to contribute to their failure to develop emotional intimacy.)
Afterwards, the young woman came up to me, crying. She told me that she had been touched by what I had said, including what I had revealed about my own journey to chastity.
I gave her a hug, some encouraging words, and a copy of my book, and told her I would pray for her. I'd like to ask that you please pray for her too, although I can't reveal her name.
Later, I told Bob Moran about the young woman's tears. He observed, "She represents millions."
12:23 AM
