I am leaving now for a weekend retreat, so my promised response to Father Belli (see "Altar Call" below) will have to wait 'til I come back. Thanks for reading, and I wish you a blessed weekend - Dawn
From Pope Benedict's new encyclical "Spe Salvi," on Christian hope (emphasis mine):
"The true measure of humanity is essentially determined in relationship to suffering and to the sufferer. This holds true both for the individual and for society. A society unable to accept its suffering members and incapable of helping to share their suffering and to bear it inwardly through 'com-passion' is a cruel and inhuman society. Yet society cannot accept its suffering members and support them in their trials unless individuals are capable of doing so themselves; moreover, the individual cannot accept another's suffering unless he personally is able to find meaning in suffering, a path of purification and growth in maturity, a journey of hope. Indeed, to accept the 'other' who suffers, means that I take up his suffering in such a way that it becomes mine also. Because it has now become a shared suffering, though, in which another person is present, this suffering is penetrated by the light of love. The Latin word con-solatio, 'consolation,' expresses this beautifully. It suggests being with the other in his solitude, so that it ceases to be solitude. Furthermore, the capacity to accept suffering for the sake of goodness, truth and justice is an essential criterion of humanity, because if my own well-being and safety are ultimately more important than truth and justice, then the power of the stronger prevails, then violence and untruth reign supreme. Truth and justice must stand above my comfort and physical well-being, or else my life itself becomes a lie. In the end, even the 'yes' to love is a source of suffering, because love always requires expropriations of my 'I,' in which I allow myself to be pruned and wounded. Love simply cannot exist without this painful renunciation of myself, for otherwise it becomes pure selfishness and thereby ceases to be love.
"To suffer with the other and for others; to suffer for the sake of truth and justice; to suffer out of love and in order to become a person who truly loves—these are fundamental elements of humanity, and to abandon them would destroy man himself. Yet once again the question arises: are we capable of this? Is the other important enough to warrant my becoming, on his account, a person who suffers? Does truth matter to me enough to make suffering worthwhile? Is the promise of love so great that it justifies the gift of myself? In the history of humanity, it was the Christian faith that had the particular merit of bringing forth within man a new and deeper capacity for these kinds of suffering that are decisive for his humanity. The Christian faith has shown us that truth, justice and love are not simply ideals, but enormously weighty realities. It has shown us that God—Truth and Love in person—desired to suffer for us and with us. Bernard of Clairvaux coined the marvellous expression: Impassibilis est Deus, sed non incompassibilis—God cannot suffer, but he can suffer with. Man is worth so much to God that he himself became man in order to suffer with man in an utterly real way—in flesh and blood—as is revealed to us in the account of Jesus's Passion. Hence in all human suffering we are joined by one who experiences and carries that suffering with us; hence con-solatio is present in all suffering, the consolation of God's compassionate love—and so the star of hope rises. Certainly, in our many different sufferings and trials we always need the lesser and greater hopes too—a kind visit, the healing of internal and external wounds, a favourable resolution of a crisis, and so on. In our lesser trials these kinds of hope may even be sufficient. But in truly great trials, where I must make a definitive decision to place the truth before my own welfare, career and possessions, I need the certitude of that true, great hope of which we have spoken here. For this too we need witnesses—martyrs—who have given themselves totally, so as to show us the way—day after day. We need them if we are to prefer goodness to comfort, even in the little choices we face each day—knowing that this is how we live life to the full. Let us say it once again: the capacity to suffer for the sake of the truth is the measure of humanity. Yet this capacity to suffer depends on the type and extent of the hope that we bear within us and build upon. The saints were able to make the great journey of human existence in the way that Christ had done before them, because they were brimming with great hope.
"I would like to add here another brief comment with some relevance for everyday living. There used to be a form of devotion—perhaps less practised today but quite widespread not long ago—that included the idea of 'offering up' the minor daily hardships that continually strike at us like irritating 'jabs,' thereby giving them a meaning. Of course, there were some exaggerations and perhaps unhealthy applications of this devotion, but we need to ask ourselves whether there may not after all have been something essential and helpful contained within it. What does it mean to offer something up? Those who did so were convinced that they could insert these little annoyances into Christ's great 'com-passion' so that they somehow became part of the treasury of compassion so greatly needed by the human race. In this way, even the small inconveniences of daily life could acquire meaning and contribute to the economy of good and of human love. Maybe we should consider whether it might be judicious to revive this practice ourselves."
"We know that sex is for reproduction. A strict materialist — that is, someone who believes that all thoughts may be traced to physical causes — would tell you that the feelings of intimacy one has during sex are simply biological trickery to get us to want to propagate the species. (Why biology would care whether we propagate the species is never explained.)
"On the other hand, if you believe that what transpires between a man and a woman during sex has its source in something other than the couple’s DNA, their upbringing, and what they had for lunch, then sex must have a function that goes beyond creating more people to have sex."
The excerpt used for the article is from Chapter Five, which in The Thrill is titled "The Meaning of Sex." In it, I introduce concepts from the theology of the body.
Last night I had the great pleasure of speaking to a reading group at the gorgeous new Potomac Falls, Va., church Our Lady of Hope.
The parochial vicar, Father Belli, asked a question that no priest has ever asked me before: What advice could I give for preaching chastity from the pulpit?
I'm running to work and can't blog 'til tonight, so I'll leave you with that question for now. The comments section below is for your own suggestions for Father Belli and other priests who may want advice on preaching chastity. I'll post my answers tonight.
Many thanks to everyone who attended my talk at Our Lady of Hope and especially to Emily Borman for inviting me. It was a beautiful experience and I will remember it.
UPDATE, 11/30/07, 1 a.m. Thanks for the many insightful comments in answer to Father Belli's question. I'll post my own answer later this a.m.
As promised, here are video highlights of "Modest Proposals," the "chastity all-stars" panel organized by myself and New Atlantis editor Mary Rose Rybak at the Ethics and Public Policy Center in Washington, D.C., November 13, co-sponsored by my employer, the Cardinal Newman Society and the Clare Booth Luce Policy Institute.
Unhooked author Laura Sessions Stepp details her research into the campus casual-sex culture:
UCLA psychiatrist and Clare Booth Luce Policy Institute fellow Dr. Miriam Grossman, author of Unprotected, describes how sex education in America encourages promiscuity among unmarried students while failing to inform them of the physical and psychological damage that it can cause:
Wendy Shalit talks about how sex-ed "experts" and college professors encourage youths to disconnect themselves emotionally from their sexual activities:
Cassy DeBenedetto of Princeton's Anscombe Society relates her college's response to her group's suggestion it respect chastity in its freshman-orientation program:
I wrap up the panel, encapsulating the observations of previous speakers and adding some of my own:
Tuesday a.m.: If you are visiting from Jessica Valenti's blog, this is the space where I posted something hasty last night (see the timestamp below).
Just before posting it, I was commenting on another blog that blogging makes it far too easy to post offensive things without thinking. Well, it looks like I have done just that. I took the post down before leaving for work today, but not in time for Jessica to see it and be offended. I apologize.
... but my father and stepmother just adore their Yofi ...
... and that little, jumpy, yappy dog seems to adore them right back.
My dad, who in the past did not seem to care much about dogs one way or the other, is terribly fond of Yofi*. He told me that he has trained the dog to take off his socks when he comes home after work.
"What does he do with them?" I asked.
"He runs away with them," Dad said. "And expects me to play."
At Thanksgiving, Dad and Linda were telling friends that Yofi had just posed for photos, without being trained to do so. They simply asked the dog to pose and he did, staying still until the photos were taken.
I assume that this photo that I and about 20 others just received via e-mail — with the header "AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL!" — is from that kitchen-floor session.
So, without any further ado, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you ... Yofi!
OK, one, two three: "Awwwwww!"
Seriously, please leave all your favorable comments, as I'm sure my dad and stepmother will be delighted.
(Unfavorable comments will be sent to the doghouse.)
UPDATE: Linda writes to say thanks, but adds: "I do take exception to the description of 'yappy' ... I'll give you the "jumpy," but yappy he’s not... you have never been in the presence of a yappy dog if you think HE is!" I stand corrected!
The Sisters of Life have given me permission to post an e-mail they sent out today to their volunteer Co-Workers:
Dear Co-Workers of Life,
As we prepare to enter the season of Advent, a time of great expectation and joy, our prayers are with you, that you may enter ever more deeply into the mystery of the Incarnation.
We offer an opportunity for you or your community or parish to give of yourself to help support the courageous women that we serve, that they may also experience this time before Christmas as a time of expectation and joy.
What follows is a list of suggestions for material goods that would be helpful in supporting the women that we serve, many who have other children who could also benefit from your generosity.
Maternity clothes in all sizes, especially stretchy-panel pants
Phone cards (sometimes, women we serve are living in shelters and do not have phones)
Gift cards:
Old Navy The Gap Kohl’s Target Pathmark
Gift cards to grocery stores and stores which carry toys are especially helpful during this time of year.
Baby clothes and clothes for young children
Thank you so much for your continued prayerful support. Items can be sent to:
Sisters of Life – Visitation Mission 320 E. 66th Street New York, NY 10065
Please feel free to call us with additional ideas: (212) 737-0221
Having volunteered for the Sisters and having met some of the people they serve, I can vouch for the beautiful way they make the culture of life a reality for women in need. Their work and witness are vitally needed.
For more on the Sisters of Life, see the press release about the outcome of the Co-Worker training at Seton Hall University that I organized under the auspices of my employer, the Cardinal Newman Society.
3:45 PM |
The current edition of the Diocese of Arlington's Catholic Herald features an informative article by Henrietta Gomez on "Modest Proposals," the seminar I co-organized under the auspices of my employer, the Cardinal Newman Society, at Washington, D.C.'s Ethics and Public Policy Center. Some highlights, including some stark observations from Unprotected author Dr. Miriam Grossman:
[UCLA] psychiatrist [Grossman] lamented the "mental health crisis on our campuses." Prozac, she said, is the number one prescribed medication. And Grossman said the rise in prescription anti-depressant use among young women is linked to the rise in the number of women who come to the health center because of sexual relationships.
"We have a problem. We should be alarmed, but we should not be surprised," she said. Young people are influenced by a popular culture that is constantly bombarding them with blatant lies about sex, she said. Grossman said television shows, including Sex and the City and Friends, give a false notion that sex can be divorced from emotions.
It gives the message that sex is "recreational without consequences and that condoms provide good enough protection," she said. Teenagers arrive on college campuses with those ideas and are rudely awakened when they learn that they have been deceived.
"High risk behaviors are being promoted," said Grossman. Because of that, she said, "the number of sexually transmitted diseases has exploded."
The facts are evident, she said, but health care professionals are not responsibly educating young people. Hard science alone proves that bonding hormones are released in a woman’s body during sexual activity. "It cannot be disputed," she said. Grossman said science has shown the release of the hormone oxytocin in a woman’s system during such activity makes her more susceptible to distress, anxiety and depression with a "hooking-up" situation.
"Why have we allowed political correctness to seep into this critical area of health?" she asked. Health care professionals need to set aside political correctness and speak the truth about the biochemistry of sex.
"There are a lot more victims of the hook-up culture than there are of violence," she said.
Young people need to be educated about the real facts. Grossman travels around the country, especially to college campuses, to educate students.
Parental involvement is key, said Dawn Eden, director of the Cardinal Newman Society’s Love and Responsibility Program, which seeks to reestablish chastity on Catholic college campuses.
Many parents and older adults, although they may disagree with the “hook-up” culture, are afraid to speak out because of their own past or to “validate their own poor choices,” she said.
Eden, who has given numerous talks around the country and in Ireland and England, seeks to help people "have a deeper understanding of our own human dignity, and realize that there’s a joy that goes far beyond sex."
You really have to watch the video of the following story by reporter Amber Miller of News Channel 11 in Bristol, Tenn.:
Lori Vance went against the doctors' wishes and saw her pregnancy through to birth.
Now on her daughter's sweet sixteenth birthday, the family is celebrating her triumphant life.
The Vance family told News Channel 11 that a fatal disorder isn't always a death sentence.
At 16-years-old, one of the hardest decisions for Donna Joy Vance is what to wear.
Sitting on the couch with her mother, Donna blushes over a TV crush. "We're celebrating Donna Joy's 16th birthday,” Lori Vance Said. “It's a special day because it's a day the doctors and so-called experts way back when said would never come to be."
At seven months into the pregnancy, doctors realized that Donna Joy had a brain disorder called Holoprosencephaly, or HPE.
Physicians told Lori Vance that her child would be completely blind, likely deaf, likely born with no face, no ability to move limbs or suck and swallow.
"Basically, everything that makes you a human being was going to be missing," Vance told News Channel 11. "They wanted to terminate the pregnancy because they said she was going to die anyway," Vance said.
Vance refused.
She was determined to give Donna Joy a chance. "Even if it was only for a few minutes—to give her some dignity, wrap her up in a pretty blanket. Say ‘I love you’ and let her go," Vance said.
But mother and child never had to say goodbye.
Donna Joy is beating the odds.
While the pre-natal studies on Donna Joy's brain were accurate, her functions have surpassed expectations.
"She didn't read the book on this disorder,” Vance said. “No one told her she couldn't do these things. So she does them anyway."
Among Donna Joy's accomplishments: Special Olympics track medals, modeling, singing and beauty pageants.
Again, watch the video of this beautiful teenage girl and her mother, who so clearly loves her dearly. Kudos to reporter Miller for covering the story.
With friends and family either busy or out of town for the holiday weekend, I had a lovely time yesterday doing something that I recommend to readers of The Thrill of the Chaste but that I myself haven't done in over a year: I took myself out on the town to enjoy a cultural event that I love but would normally not attend alone for fear of feeling lonely. And since I was stepping out, I decided to go all the way, so to speak, and treated myself to two dateless dates in one day.
Actually, rereading The Thrill, I see now that I don't recommend going out on a dateless date just for the heck of it. I mention it there only in the context of getting out of the house so that one may meet new people. Well, I should have mentioned it for its own sake as well. It can be lonely going to a movie or concert by oneself, but it's far lonelier to deprive oneself of the joys such experiences offer.
The pain in going out to an event alone when one would far rather go out with a date is akin to taking uncoated aspirin to cure a headache. The headache represents the angsty edge of loneliness — the resentment that builds as, in the absence of that special someone, I avoid events I would otherwise enjoy. Uncoated aspirin tastes awful going down. Initially, one has to deal with the bitter pill and the headache. But then (with the help of more sips of water), the bitterness fades away — and gradually the headache does too.
Likewise, when I go alone to a movie or a concert that I really love, the loneliness, like a bitter lump in my throat, comes on strongest when I'm on my way to the event. Once I make it to the theater and the lights go down, the worst is over. My loneliness fades into the background, as the joy I receive takes away the worst of the "headache."
And so, yesterday, for the first time since moving to the Washington, D.C., area at the end of June, I went to the National Gallery of Art, where I took in a beautiful print of "Show People, King Vidor's 1928 silent comedy starring Marion Davies. It was my third time seeing the film — I'd seen it the other times at Manhattan's Film Forum — and I was delighted to discover that I actually enjoyed it as much or more than the first two times. It's a tightly scripted, terrifically witty send-up of Hollywood, with all-around superb comedic acting and a simple, sweet romance. A great bonus was that, unlike at the Film Forum, admission was free. (Okay, it felt free; technically, I had already paid it in federal taxes.)
When the film was over, I treated myself to a late lunch in the gallery's Garden Café. (My fear of going out on dateless dates does not apply to restaurants; I take myself out to them way too often.) I had the buffet, which was every bit as mouth-watering as it looked on the menu. The waitress complimented me on my outfit, which was very nice as I'd decided to dress up for my day out and was hoping someone would notice.
From the gallery, I had to go to the Red Line Metro to run an errand across town. On the way, I stopped at the Penn Quarter Teaism for the first time since my birthday party nearly three months ago and ordered my favorite bubble tea in the world. At least, I thought it was my favorite; when it arrived, it turned out I had ordered the wrong item (it turns out that not every "pearl tea" on their menu actually contains tapioca pearls). I told the cashier of my mistake and asked if I could pay for the right one, but he just gave it to me free.
It felt terribly wasteful to have the shop jettison a full cup of tea just to satisfy my bubble craving, and it was. Somewhere in Ethiopia, people are starving, while Teaism is throwing away a perfectly good jasmine tea so that I can have my globs of tapioca. But, man, did the right one taste good; those bubbles just melted in my mouth. I actually had thought of including a couple of paragraphs in The Thrill about the joys of bubble tea — how it perfectly combines the taste sensations of eating and drinking — but it seemed somehow gratuitous, if not downright unchaste.
My Red Line errand ended in time to give me a shot at one more dateless date for the day: a Jerome Kern concert by the National Symphony Orchestra, with vocalists and a chorus, at the Kennedy Center, including most of "Show Boat." I didn't have a ticket, but, having checked online, I knew they were still available as of this morning. If I made it, it would be my first time at the center since my dad and stepmother dragged me to "The Nutcracker" nearly 30 years ago.
The decision to attend the concert solo was harder emotionally than the one to attend the movie. A number of singles turn up at silent films, but longhair concert attendees are more often couples and families. The only other longhair events I'd attended this year were with my then-boyfriend, the last being in February, when he got us tickets for Bellini's bel canto opera "I Puritani" at the Met. We were seated all the way up in the nosebleed section, just one row down from the last, and we missed the second act because, well, he got a nosebleed ... anyway, I have not felt like taking myself to a concert hall since then.
One special reason I wanted to go to the Kennedy Center was that, if all goes well, next month I will be moving into a place just down the street from that famous hall. If I felt deprived now because of refusing to attend a concert there sans date, I reasoned, I would feel even more deprived if I kept avoiding the place upon moving to the neighborhood. It would be just plain silly, like when I lived near Central Park when I was right out of college and never set foot in the place alone (though, in my defense, it wasthe Dinkins era).
So, I took the Red Line back into downtown and got the Orange Line into Foggy Bottom, arriving with a whopping ten minutes to showtime. Sending up a few prayers to the Holy Spirit, I decided that I would see if the free Kennedy Center van was waiting for me by the top of the Metro escalator. If it was, I would hop inside and try my luck at the box office, otherwise I would head back down into the Metro and go home.
Lo and behold, the van was there. It deposited me at the Kennedy Center two minutes before the scheduled showtime, so I hightailed it to the box office. Since a concert was such a rare treat, I asked for the best ticket left, and wound up with Row EE, seat 4 — prime orchestra, about three-quarters of the way back, one seat to the right of the center aisle. The man in the aisle seat asked me how I'd gotten my ticket. When I told him. he said I should tell the couple to my right, as they had asked him how one gets aisle seats in that row. It turned out that they had been trying for years to get my seat and the aisle seat next to it, but had always been turned down. Lucky for me they had a sense of humor about it.
The music was quite wonderful; it was good to get back in touch with tunes from the Great American Songbook. In the first half of the concert, conductor Marvin Hamlisch (whose name I will always associate with Lisa Loopner*) led orchestral versions of Kern classics like "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes" and "Look for the Silver Lining." Many of Hamlisch's comments were corny in the extreme, but I had to agree with him when, after "Paris in the Springtime," he said something like, "That is what used to be known as a melody."
Incidentally, I was face-to-face with Hamlisch once back in 1990, when, as a temp for the company then known as Warner Communications, I worked the front desk one day for Atlantic Records. I remember that Hamlisch showed up and asked for one of the heads of the label. Although there was nothing funny about his demeanor — he seemed terribly put out at having to utter his name to a 21-year-old receptionist — it struck me as vaguely comical that he was wearing white tie and tux in the middle of the afternoon.
During the intermission, I splurged one last time and ordered champagne along with my cranberry-walnut pastry. The champagne was the disappointment of the evening, albeit very slight. I was expecting just a glass of bubbly; instead, the bartender opened a mini-bottle and unceremoniously shoved in in my direction with an upside-down glass on top. I managed to find a spot on the lone comfy couch in the foyer and set about pouring myself a drink, but having to juggle the glass and mini-bottle made me feel like an alky.
The second half of the concert had some gorgeous singing, though most of the "Show Boat" tunes didn't interest me as much as the songs that started the program. Watching Hamlisch, I was struck by how a conductor looks as though he is continually making the Sign of the Cross over the orchestra. I guess that says something about how I should conduct myself.
*"Mom, you don't have to worry about me going all the way with Todd. I'm saving myself for my one true love - Marvin Hamlisch." — Gilda Radner as Lisa Loopner, from "Nerds Prom Night," "Saturday Night Live."
Doing some housecleaning and getting rid of some things I'll never wear. Most of it is going to a thrift store, but I think this trinket — which I wore with pride during the first election season in which I could vote — is only good for the trash.
As Alicia Keys' "No One" is currently the No. 1 song in the nation, I would like to be the first in the blogosphere to note that it is the latest in a long, long line of pop tunes based on Pachelbel's "Canon in D."
Somewhere, Rob Paravonian is rejoicing at the arrival of yet another hit to add to his "Pachelbel Rant":
And here's the Canon as Pachelbel wrote it (or close enough), by the Orchestra da Camera di Verona:
I have purposefully omitted the guitar-hero version of the Canon that has received over 32 million views on YouTube ...
Thanks to reader Merrill Thompson for sending this beautiful op-ed by Bruce Chapman in today's Seattle Times:
When a family member learned not long ago that he was dying of cancer, he visited a church he hadn't much seen and, while leaving, he picked up a tract on the topic of facing death. The very first suggestion was to give thanks. Initially, it seemed perverse to him; after all, he was counting his impending losses, not his blessings. But, he followed the advice and it literally transformed him, and, among other things, gave him new courage and hope. ...[Read the full article]
"He was above all things a great giver; and he cared chiefly for the best kind of giving which is called thanksgiving. If another great man wrote a grammar of assent, he may well be said to have written a grammar of acceptance; a grammar of gratitude. He understood down to its very depths the theory of thanks; and its depths are a bottomless abyss. He knew that the praise of God stands on its strongest ground when it stands on nothing. He knew that we can best measure the towering miracle of the mere fact of existence if we realise that but for some strange mercy we should not even exist."
These days, it takes much longer for Sixties-pop trivia to make it to these parts than it did when I was a working rock historian. I only just learned today that the Royal Guardsmen of "Snoopy Vs. the Red Baron" fame reunited last year to record yet another follow-up to their classic bubblegum/garage tune (previous efforts included "Return of the Red Baron," "Snoopy's Christmas," and "Snoopy for President").
Personally, I think the new tune lacks the old magic, but you can judge for yourself: "Snoopy Vs. Osama."
Andrea Burns, the Melbourne Herald Sun columnist who started an online debate of sorts when she wrote a column countering my belief that women should not try to "have sex like men" (as the flawed expression goes), now takes aim at "Bible bashers" — people who have left critical comments on her blog (bashing her, not the Bible).
For the record, I don't approve when my readers leave personal attacks on other people's blogs. As a Christian, it is embarrassing to me when people give a malicious witness for the faith, and it makes me mad.
At the same time, it appears that Burns is not just using the term "bashers" for readers who left personal insults for her; rather, she seems to be applying it to anyone who upholds a morality other than her own. If that is how she really feels, that those who openly disagree with her are by definition "bashing" her, then I am sorry to hear that.
Late-term abortionist brags of his 'license to lie'
With stunning brazenness, Michigan late-term abortionist Albert Hodari gloats to Wayne State University's Medical Students for Choice Nov. 9 that he has a "license to lie" to his patients:
Jill Stanek observes: "Note this abortionist only lies less now thanks to public education about abortion, no thanks to the industry. This video clip should be shown at every legislative hearing on Women's Right to Know laws — which the industry always fights. It's no wonder."
... for video clips of me, Wendy Shalit, and other participants in "Modest Proposals" coming later this morning.
UPDATE, 11/21, 10:51 a.m.: Two video clips are currently available from the event, but I'm expecting more, so I'll wait to post them here until I have them all. If you can't wait, you can see those first two clips on the Cardinal Newman Society's site.
Sisters of Life teach college students how to aid pregnant peers
The Sisters of Life training at Seton Hall University that I helped organize in my position as director of the Cardinal Newman Society's Love and Responsibility Program was a great success. Many thanks to all the blogs who helped publicize the training, including ProLifeBlogs, Causa Nostrae Laetitiae, and The Curt Jester (apologies if I'm forgetting anyone).
Here is the press release I wrote about the training's outcome, which is also on the Cardinal Newman Society's Web site:
“A great success” is how Sister Magdalene of the Sisters of Life described her order’s first-ever on-campus training for college students seeking to learn how to support peers in crisis pregnancies, held Nov. 17 at Seton Hall University in South Orange, N.J., and sponsored by The Cardinal Newman Society with SHU’s Campus Ministry.
“Fifteen students rose early on a Saturday—something just short of a miracle—to join us for a new look at how to serve a pregnant college student,” says Sister Magdalene, who directed the training. Also in attendance were several members of SHU’s Campus Ministry as well as Archdiocese of Newark Campus Ministry Director Maureen Madigan.
Since their founding by John Cardinal O’Connor in 1991, the Sisters of Life—whose members take a fourth vow to protect and enhance the sacredness of every human life— have trained hundreds of Co-Workers (volunteers), but never before on a college campus.
The five-hour training included presentations by Sisters of Life about understanding the heart of a vulnerable pregnant woman, communication skills to help students listen to a pregnant woman’s needs and be fully present for her, and information on the various ways the students could place their individual talents and skills at the service of life.
At the heart of the training was a talk by a college student who had stayed at the Sisters’ Sacred Heart residence in Manhattan, where the order gives shelter and Holy Respite to pregnant women. The young woman, accompanied by her buoyant two-year-old daughter, spoke movingly of how the nuns’ love and support enabled her to escape an abusive relationship.
Sister Magdalene observed afterward that “many of those that attended seemed to view this approach as a breath of fresh air.”
“They seemed to see in it a special focus on the dignity of the woman, knowing that the better we serve her, the better she will be able to care for the life within her,” she said.
SHU student Jennifer Nelson, a graduate assistant in Campus Ministry, agreed. “In my work with Housing and Residence Life for over seven years, I saw many women struggling with how to help friends through crisis pregnancies, or were dealing with the issue themselves,” Nelson says. “The training that the Sisters of Life provided our students with will give these young women some place to turn. It will allow them to know that both they and their babies are loved by God, and they will see God through the caring actions of those around them.”
“The students loved the training and are very excited about working in this important ministry,” said Noreen Shea, SHU’s Campus Minister for Catechetics. “We are very grateful to the Cardinal Newman Society for sponsoring such an important and powerful event for the students on our campus.”
Archdiocese of Newark Campus Ministry Director Maureen Madigan likewise thanked the society for introducing the Sisters’ apostolate to the archdiocese. “We look forward to collaborating with the Sisters of Life in the near future, inviting them to provide similar trainings to our student leaders at the ten public universities, colleges and technical schools we serve,” she said.
For Sister Magdalene, the most important fruit of the training was the opportunity to share their charism of love with college students. “Our focus is not to change the culture by force but one heart at a time—this seemed to resonate with those who attended,” she said. “May all the glory be given to the Lord and may many be saved from the suffering incurred by obtaining an abortion.”
On my first or second morning in Dublin last month, in a bit of a haze from jet lag and a jam-packed schedule, I did an interview for The Word magazine at the John Paul II Centre, the local Regnum Christi HQ (which promoted my trip), and afterward posed outside the house for the magazine's photographer. Word editor Sarah Mac Donald just sent me this photo from the shoot; the story will run next month in the magazine and on its Web site.
Looking at the photo, I'm reminded of how much I loved being in Ireland and at the same time how painful it was to have such a short time there during the two trips I took this year (the first in June, to address the Legion of Mary's young-adult conference). All I want to do when I see this photo is take a stroll down that lovely garden path that's winding behind me — yet I never took the time to do so during either of the trips when I had a chance. Next time, for sure.
Many thanks again to JP2 Centre volunteer Anne-Maree Quinn, who arranged the Word interview and much of the rest of my October Dublin/London trip and everyone else from the center, including Father Michael Mullan, L.C.
Sarah also sends this fab cartoon, inspired by the working title for my next book.
NBC Nightly News raises awareness of dangerous pregnancy ailment
It's wonderful to see NBC Nightly News drawing attention to HG (hyperemesis gravidarum), the debilitating but treatable disease that expresses itself in extreme morning sickness. Coverage like this can save lives:
My blog pal Ashli Foshee McCall has written an excellent book on HG called Beyond Morning Sickness, which she is sending free fo charge to any ob/gyn who requests it. She herself suffered HG through four pregnancies and now works to help others with the disease.
Melbourne Herald Sun "Urban Princess" columnist Andrea Burns has responded to my comments on her column — see the update near the end of my original post for the link.
As I wrote previously, one of the highlights of the All Souls Day reception for my employer The Cardinal Newman Society's Newman Guide to Choosing a Catholic College was getting to introduce my father to Father Benedict Groeschel, co-founder of the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal. Today, I received some beautiful photos of the occasion.
In the photo uptop, you can see me listening intently to Father Groeschel's gentle voice. He and my father share a similar Northern New Jersey accent, which is not surprising, since, as I noted before, they were born four years and one mile apart. I love my father's expression in that same photo — you can tell how happy he and Father Groeschel were to share childhood memories of the old neighborhood.
Father Groeschel talked animatedly with my dad for several minutes about such childhood hangouts as the Embassy Theatre in Bayonne — a grimy place they both recalled as "The Itch" — where, without knowing one another, they enjoyed such films as "Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman."
"Healing is always available to us in Christ. If we sincerely repent of our sinful behavior — and to repent means not just to be sorry about it but to turn away from it — God recognizes that, and He washes us. Once you make the decision to change your life, you have to think about where you are going to find fellowship with other people who feel as you do.
"Our sexuality cannot be divorced from who we are in Christ. When we learn about our sexuality in the light of Christ’s teaching, it gives us a great awe and wonder about how, as the Psalm says, we are wonderfully and fearfully made."
— I answer the question of "how can people heal from their sexual pasts" in an interview for Focus on the Family's Citizenlink.org. Many thanks to CitizenLink's associate editor Devon Williams for doing the interview.
Note to commenters
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12:25 PM
Congratulations to my blogger pal Robert N. Going on the birth of his first grandchild!
Far from being a nest of clucking prudes deriding the indiscretions of “kids these days,” these women were concerned about the waves of depression and sexually transmitted disease that are sweeping over our young women. They placed their disapproval not upon the girls so much as the school systems and parents that failed to teach them the buzz about the birds and the bees, and called upon college students to expose incidences of these prejudices in universities so that they could be reversed.
Grossman, who has devoted her life to university health, had the most stirring condemnations for the collegiate sex educators. She warned that despite their claims of neutrality, policies towards sex on campus were anything but neutral. Built-in assumptions that experimentation with sex is always beneficial and that youth are going to be sexually active no matter what warp the effectiveness of campus sexual-health programs. At my pre-college physical, my pediatrician began to write me a prescription for birth control without even asking, assuming it was routine for such a visit. My own experience at a university hospital forced me to deny sexual activity no less than four times. After they removed my mother from the room to ask me again, still squinting at me with suspicion, I was about ready to pitch the bedpan at the attending doctor’s head. What does it say to a college freshman struggling to be abstinent when physicians treat an 18-year-old virgin with the same mixture of curiosity and revulsion that they would the Elephant Man?
While those assumptions may encourage doctors to uncover the truth of sexual activity in some shyer girl, these presuppositions do more harm than merely isolating the chaste — they conveniently silence mounting scientific evidence that might convince girls to put their clothes back on. The biochemistry of post-coital attachment, the increased vulnerability of women to STDs, the risks inherent in so-called safer-sex programs — all of these go unmentioned in the clinics. ...
... As the panel neared its end, Eden pondered aloud that even though she had not planned on starting a “modesty movement,” one seemed to be organically sprouting up with the advent of all of these books and groups. And with the founding of each group and the publishing of each book, letters and e-mails pour in, saying, “I thought I was the only one!” Each speaker was optimistic that the emptiness of the hookup culture could be effectively combated, because all signs point to a silent majority of women desiring to unhook themselves from its claws.[Read the full article.]
AND ANOTHER THING: Watch this space for video of "Modest Proposals," coming on Monday.
12:30 AM |
In the 21st century we are still suffering this Madonna-whore complex and we have no one to blame but ourselves.
In The Times recently, journalist Dawn Eden lamented her sexual rebellion of the 1960s [which was really difficult, as I wasn't born 'til '68 — D.]. After heeding Germaine Greer's call to arms and Helen Gurley Brown's blessing to have sex "like a man" she ended up unfulfilled.
She writes: "Whatever Greer and her ilk might say, I've tried their philosophy that a woman can shag like a man and it doesn't work. We're not built like that. Women are built for bonding. We are vessels and we seek to be filled."
Perhaps we women wouldn't feel so conflicted about casual sex if women like Eden didn't put layer upon layer of expectations on the rest of us.
Sex is a simple act, but as long as women think monogamous sex equals love and multiple partners equals deviance, we will never find fulfilment.
Poor Ms. Burns. Here she is, is trying to sound all bold and brassy like her Aussie compatriots Greer and Helen "I am woman, hear me roar" Reddy — and coming off as positively Victorian.
I mean, you really have to hand it to a feminist writer who believes women are just such girlygirl whisper-soft gullible slips of things that their paper-thin feminine brains are so easily swayed like a milkweed blossom carried away like a light spring breeze by the writings of a chastity crusader opining in the Sunday Times of London.
As for the madonna-whore complex, I would believe such an animal existed were it not that it is usually propounded by women whose sympathies lie entirely with the whore. Their objections appear to be based upon the fact that, despite their best efforts to emulate whores, some men resolutely insist upon viewing them as potential madonnas.
Boo. Hoo. Hoo.**
I'm sorry to react so viscerally to Burns's column. It's hard not to do so when she holds me up as a repressive authority figure, but I shouldn't, because she is clearly hurting. Perhaps a reader with more distance could explain her discomfort with the burden of my "layer upon layer of expectations." I think it has something to do with the fact that I am touching upon something that provokes shame in her.
Such shame can be harmful, provoking a sense of worthlessness and helplessness that can lead to acting out sexually. I'm personally familiar with that brand of shame and am painfully reminded of it when I see certain images of who I was before I was chaste. It may be hard for some to grasp how shame can motivate people to be shameless, but I have no difficulty understanding why Britney Spears decided at the last minute to wear an all-too-revealing bra-and-underwear ensemble at the MTV Video Awards. It also makes sense to me both why Pamela Anderson says she cried the first time she posed for Playboy and why she says that, in subsequent shoots, her tears gave way to a feeling of empowerment.
Acting out sexually is a gut-level reaction to shame. It says, "Everybody knows I've been exposed — so I'll take power over the situation by being in control of my exposure." The greater the shame, the greater the attempt to magnify the sin. It's the story of Madonna's career.
But there is another kind of shame, which Karol Wojtyla, the future Pope John Paul II, writing in Love and Responsibility, called a "healthy shame":
"'[H]ealthy shame' functions to protect the very nature of personhood, which cannot be shared, unless the person permits this through the gift of self in love. It is because of this shame that we come to see the essential value of the whole person (sexuality included), whose ultimate longing is to love and be loved, shared and experienced in their totality."
It is this healthy shame that I seek to promote. The fact that Burns sees it as a threat to her chosen lifestyle suggests to me that she is suffering emotionally from the effects of the other brand of shame, the damaging kind. After all, if she were not suffering, she could simply shrug off my admonitions as the words of a prude and move on, rather than protest at the weight of my expectations of her.
Burns concludes:
To be a woman is a changing ideal, but the deportment school for good girls has not caught up yet.
We don't need to convince the blokes of this. I am guessing they will lose that mother complex quick smart if women had sex like men.
Be careful what you wish for, sister. Try "having sex like a man" and your sex partners will lose their mother complex, all right. They'll also lose any ability to see you as a potential mother. Of course, that may be what you really want. In any case, the idea of having sex like a man is, as I've said, a base canard.
I think that on some level Burns realizes this. Just two weeks ago, she lamented in her column that "the date is dead." As Unhooked author Laura Sessions Stepp described at last week's "Modest Proposals" seminar, the columnist's sense of loss echoes that of of many college students who wish dating would make a comeback.
Perhaps inside every "That Woman" is a fine woman struggling to get out.
**Deleted on second thought because the Madonna wouldn't say that. 12:01 AM |
'12 steps to Man'
Mark Gauvreau Judge offers a beautiful Advent-themed reflection on Father Ed Dowling, S.J., who was a literal friend of Bill W. during the early years of Alcoholics Anonymous.
I'm delighted to find that a 26-year-old blogger named Jessica has posted links to video of my debate on "Is Chastity a Good Idea for Singles?"
The debate took place in the basement of a Lower East Side bar called Lolita last January, one month after the publication of my book The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On. My opponent was Virginia Vitzthum, the author of a book on hooking up through the personals: I Love You, Let's Meet.
Jessica writes: "Even though Dawn seems a bit nervous and awkward, she has solid evidence supporting herself and Virginia comes across as unprepared and even to the point of admitting that she does not have data supporting her claims. Like Dawn says, Christians are not against having great intimacy, just waiting 'till it can be the best that it can be!"
Well, as you can see from one of the clips, Jessica is being generous when she says I'm only "a bit" nervous and awkward:
